We’ve all seen examples of “loud” quitting—the angry, curse-laden text screenshots from an employee, the social media dishing of gossip about a toxic job, or a worker’s dramatic departure during a crucial client meeting in a series or movie. These moments may have entertainment value, but when it comes to your everyday, real life, the way you leave a job can have consequences long beyond your decision to exit. Instead of burning bridges, you can exit respectfully, allowing yourself the best opportunity for good referrals and positive networking down the road.

Taking on a new job can be one of the most satisfying moments in a career as you’re entering into a new opportunity—but doing it right can be challenging unless you’re intentional about the process. Here are some tips for leaving your current position with grace.

Manage your emotions

Moving on from an existing role can be bittersweet in many ways. No matter how positive, negative, or ambivalent your experience at your current company has been, you likely will have a lot of emotions whirling in the wake of your decision to depart. Acknowledge how you feel—whether that’s sad, angry, excited, burned out, worried, or hopeful—and then make the decision not to let those feelings affect your coworkers.

Instead, do as much of the processing as you can on your own time. Journaling, getting more exercise, or talking with people who are outside of the situation can help you work through how you’re feeling about leaving.

Communicate professionally

When exiting a position, the goal is to handle it as gracefully as possible given the circumstances. This is one reason managing your emotions matters—you’ll find it easier to extend professional courtesy as a result. Do your best to remain calm, collected, and respectful as you discuss your decision with your colleagues.

And keep in mind, there is usually a protocol for announcing your departure. Inform your manager before anyone else, and do it in person (or at least on a video call if you work remotely), which allows you both to see each other’s faces and body language. Resist the urge to quit by email, text, or voice message—methods that can come across as uncaring and which can distort your intended tone. If there are forms to fill out or if you need to notify the Human Resources department, do so. Finally, let coworkers know so that they are not blindsided on your last day.

Choose your words carefully

In addition to how you communicate, what you say matters too. So, as you prepare to discuss your decision with managers, coworkers, and HR, create a mini script for yourself to draw from. It can be helpful to mention that you’ve considered your decision thoroughly, so that it’s clear you’re not acting in haste. Focus on your desire to do what is best for you, rather than any criticism you may have for others.

Express your appreciation for the opportunities you have had, centering on what has been positive for you. And be direct and respectfully firm about your decision, so your boss doesn’t assume you are simply negotiating for a reason to stay.

Offer to ease the transition

While most companies state a generic preference for receiving two weeks’ notice before you leave, this is simply a guideline. Consider it the minimum amount of time that respects the need to transition your work to another employee. If you can give lengthier notice, or if you can be flexible on your departure date, it can be good to let the company know as soon as possible. This will make it easier for you to hand off work in a stead, thorough fashion rather than a sudden, unwieldy rush.

Once you set a date for your last day, make a commitment to continue to do your best work until you officially leave. Communicate with those who will be taking over your projects, so they know what to expect. Finish what you can, and then make a list of what still needs to be done, so that it’s simple for someone else to step into your shoes. Organize all documents and ensure anything the company needs is saved on the company server. You might also offer to train your replacement as a courtesy to your manager. These efforts go a long way to earning you a positive referral in the future.

Be authentic and diplomatic in exit interviews

Many organizations ask employees to take part in an exit interview before their last day on the job. If you are required to participate, at least you can choose wisely what you will share and how you will share it. A balance of honesty and tact is a good approach in situations like this.

For example, you may be asked why you are leaving. You can focus your answer on yourself to ease how you communicate: “I have enjoyed working here, but I have found a new role that aligns more closely with my career goals.” Or find something positive you can champion: “I really admire our mission to do XYZ, and I am ready for my next adventure, but I’m grateful for what I have learned here.” Positive communication helps you to manage your coworkers’ expectations while providing a calm closure to your role.

Don’t take others’ responses personally

Sometimes, managers or coworkers may not handle the news of your departure with as much grace and kindness as you’d like. There can be many reasons for this—from company culture to seasonal stress to personal challenges your colleagues are facing. Rather than trying to control everyone’s responses, take a breath and leave it to them to manage their own emotions.

Choose to show kindness and empathy, even to those who seem upset or are struggling to accept your decision. Remember, some of these individuals may simply be shocked you’re going, and they will come around to accept it. Others may be bothered by having to take on more work, or may feel frustrated because they would also like to find a new role. But these emotions and thoughts belong to them, not you. Be empathetic, and keep your boundaries at the same time.

Reframe the narrative

As you move on to your new position, you may have many final thoughts about what this transition means for you. Reframe what you’ve experienced so that you can leverage the positives while moving past the not-so-positives. Lean into the good aspects of the job you are choosing to leave, keeping them front of mind when you talk to others, such as potential employers, about your role. Make note of your achievements and accomplishments—and be proud of what went well.

If there have been negative aspects of the position you’re exiting, think of ways to reframe them. What did you learn from those experiences? What would you do differently should a similar situation arise again? How has your old job made you stronger, more resilient, or wiser? Focus on what you are grateful for, and what has you excited for your next steps. This fresh outlook will help you communicate well with your current company, your new employer, and with potential employers in future interviews.

Summing It Up

While exiting a job can have its bittersweet moments and its emotional ups-and-downs, you don’t have to leave behind a burning bridge to do it. By being intentional, appreciative, and kind during the departure process, you can make it easier on yourself and your colleagues as you transition into your next position.

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